There is something more powerful than actual love out there, and I am lucky enough to have that. Society plays out love as sex and the only thing that keep couples like that together is being able to put up with each other. But with real love, the kind we share, it's not only putting up with each other but being there for each other and helping to make each other a better person. It's not about two separate parts and two separate people like society makes love seem, but rather one part that two people come together to make. And to anyone else who hasn't experienced this "super love" it has got to sound completely insane, but for those of us who are in the middle of it, it not only makes perfect sense, but it's beautiful as well. And when you are in love, nothing anybody says can change how you feel around that person, or what you do with them. And when you are apart from them, nothing anyone says can change the pain you feel from missing them, because it completely consumes you. And when they hurt, you hurt, and nothing anyone says can convince you that it's not your fault. It's so funny how someone you love could destroy you in a second if they wanted to, and you give them the power to do so, trusting them with every fiber of your being. The love you feel for them molds into that trust, and suddenly you find yourself happy with them. And when you look at them, you realize they are the most amazing person in the world. They speed up time and slow it down at the same time. When you realize you can't wake up next to them, you wake up to hoping to find a text from them instead, and the best part of your morning is the greeting they virtually sent your way. When you can't kiss them goodnight, you stay up talking to them on the phone until they fall asleep, even if your eyes are burning from exhaustion. You give up so many things for this person but you don't even mind because if they aren't happy, you are nothing but in pain, and their smile that comes as a result of it is totally worth it.
You know what? Everyone is beautiful. And no one has the right to make anyone feel like they are not. It's like, she doesn't have the right hair and his teeth aren't straight so they are ugly. But they are. She's beautiful, and he's handsome, just in their own ways. Those people who spend hundreds of dollars getting their faces knocked at with hammers and look down on people if they don't? They are the ugly ones, and not because of the way that they look. They are ugly because they don't see the true meaning of beauty. And it's sad. It's quite sad to see a lost heart in the throng of thousands of people like that, but maybe they are happy with the way their lives are going. Just don't count on them to tell you the truth.
Sometimes you have to remember the good stuff. The little things like a strangers smile, the feel of silk against your bare skin, or an extra long session with your therapist. Because these things? Well, they are the only things keeping you alive.
It's taken me 22 years to realize that I'll never be perfect. I've lived such a long life, but I have many more years to live through, and although I wont reach the perfection I'm aiming for, I have people that make me feel perfect in all the ways that count. Lately I feel 10 years older than I really am but it's in such a good way that I don't even care. I'm just so happy with the life and challenges I've been given. So many problems I'm being forced to overcome and each of them making me stronger. I love most of the people I am surrounded by and though life could be better, I'm not complaining.
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