This morning I woke up empty. Empty of feelings. Empty of hope. Empty of love. Then I started to feel like I could be okay. Like I would be okay. But I was wrong. It came and gone so fast I'm not even sure it was really ever there. But what surprises me the most is that people see right through me. I thought I was doing a decent job at smiling and pretending everything was okay, but everyone kept asking what was wrong, and they didn't believe me when I said I was fine. I just want to be happy again.
I can't write this story with a happy ending.
"If you love someone, you are willing to give up everything for that person. When they love you back, they wont ask you to."
Everyone keeps asking if I'm okay. The answer is no. No, I'm not okay. Can I complain? Can I please just...rant for a second? Because I am not okay. I miss summer, and I miss being happy, and more than anything in the world right now, I need a hug. I feel empty, shriveled up, and numb. Like there is nothing to me except for this sadness and him, and I imagine this is how an old person who has lost everything would feel. I'm messed up, and I don't know how to be fixed. Nothing is helping. Help me?
Well, I don't know what to say except that anyone who thinks they know what is right for someone, you don't. No one knows except for that person. Sure, you can pretend to care but when it comes down to it, it's your actions that will be the real deal breaker. If you want respect, you have to earn it.
Simply put, I feel sick, and I need an escape.
I want a perfect ending, and I'm learning the hard way that my "happily ever after" isn't always going to be exactly what I expected, but it doesn't make it any less amazing. Some poems won't rhyme and some stars won't shine any brighter than the night light that's plugged into my wall but I can still find my way home. I'm so immature, but I'm changing and I'm being molded slowly into the person I want to be for the rest of my life. I have some idea of who I want to be sure, but I'm trying to figure out how I'm supposed to get there.
Optimists tend to see the beauty in the world and all of it's surroundings, breathing in the air around them and enjoying the colors of the earth. Pessimistic people see no point in the extras.There's a lot that could be said for the line of events that happened recently, but I find myself not wanting to talk about it. I hope this doesn't confuse anyone too badly, but I need to talk about it without talking about it. I feel lost. It's so confusing because there's this piece of me missing and I can't decided if it's a good or bad thing, or if I like it or not.
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