Sometimes I wonder why you stay sad, When you're so beautiful...

"The happiness you feel today is part of the pain you feel later and the pain you feel now is part of the happiness you will later feel." 

-C.S. Lewis

I guess I'll never know what made you believe that I would let you control me the way you tried to but you were dead wrong. I'm a lot stronger than I look and although I do break down occasionally just like everyone else, I am most definitely capable of holding it together when it matters the most. I guess I'll never know what made you lie, but whatever the reason it's you whose getting hurt now, not me. I am lovely and I am loved and I know its true so telling me otherwise is a waste of your time. I love my boyfriend and my friends and the people who surround me and everyone else who wants to bring me down can give up now because it's most definitely not working.


There are things I've done and said that I regret, but really, I don't regret that I regret them. I always said that you should never regret anything in life, especially if it made you happy, but now I don't feel like it's true. A few months ago I wrote down in my journal "If you look to the past and see no mistakes, no enemies, and no regrets, then you are certainly doing something wrong," and honestly, I feel that's more accurate. If we don't regret anything then what do we learn from? Because stuff happens and eventually you get over it. And eventually it doesn't matter anymore. And eventually everything you thought to be of the utmost importance falls through the cracks and you start fresh with new regrets until every last mistake has been remade. It's life, and it's beautiful, and sometimes it sucks. True story.